What’s that? Ah yes, the last few ounces of creativity seeping out of these fingertips. As of late, it has been extremely difficult to get anything done. I haven’t written anything in over a week, and that certainly doesn’t feel good or normal in the least bit. Over the years, I’ve grown accustomed to the affliction known as creator burnout, writer’s block, and you get the point. When you’re creating something from nothing, it does not always happen how you envision it.
It’s no surprise that I have been struggling as of late. Deep down at my core, I am an extremely empathetic person, and I don’t handle the sudden onslaught of being overstimulated. There is so much going on in the world right now, even just in my daily life, and it becomes so overwhelming I frequently find myself retreating deep inwards, and it gets dark. Clearly, I forgot matches or a flashlight. My usual methods of pulling myself out of this mindset have been thrown out the window. (The metaphorical kind, not real windows. I wouldn’t be typing right now if I actually threw shit out of an actual window.) I digress, somewhere in my brain that little switch did not go off this time, giving me some sort of warning of what lies ahead.
I have primarily been living like a fucking automaton. My hands are working off of muscle memory right now. Sometimes I feel like crying, and the next moment I’m completely fine. The jokes always on me because this is the same old self-destructive behavior I have displayed in the past. Truthfully I thought I left those issues somewhere on the side of the road a long time ago. Pulling yourself out the same dark place over and over again is so frustrating and tiring. I always assumed one day my brain would just be like, “Okay, cool, we’re done with all of that now,” and obviously it does not work that way, can confirm. For some reason, I chose to ignore every warning sign my brain has ever given me these past few weeks.
So I ask myself, what am I hiding from? Who do I not want to confront right now? Usually, it’s my own issues. Also, I am just now realizing that this whole post is mostly about my current mental state and not “tips on how to handle creator burnout,” but in my not-so-humble opinion, the two go hand in hand. I guess I just always feel like I need people to know that it’s okay not to be okay, you know? Not every day is going to be a good one, but I’m trying my best to figure out how to make every day at least a decent one instead of an outright shitty day. It’s all about shifting perspective and focus from one invasive thought to something less intrusive. I like to remind myself that I chose this new path in life, and not everything is going to be alright all of the time.
Accepting that fact will make my life much easier and probably a little less chaotic.
Until next time