Tag Archives: dreaming

Realizations of change

These past few months have been mentally taxing on me, and most everything in my life changed so rapidly. The domino effect but make it stressful, not sexy. I would like to tell you that quitting everything and starting over was easy, but it is not. There is no way around the stress and panic of not knowing when you will get paid next or if you made the right decisions that led up to this moment.

I have spent the last decade of my life doubting, putting down, and misleading myself. There is no “one” conventional path in life. We all walk differently. I have always thought that life was never supposed to be easy, because good things don’t come without a cost, right? Wrong, not everything has to be difficult, sometimes we make a situation more difficult to sabotage ourselves because we don’t know any other way. Oh, this one is my favorite! When you pretend to not care about something, you have worked so hard on in your life and no one giving one ounce of a fuck. I digress, life is hard, you get it.

Becoming one with the change and having those realizations that you are not perfect and sometimes being congratulated for something really does not matter in the grand scheme of life. So I decided to become who I wanted to be, not what socially acceptable construct has been chosen for me. I am no longer tied down to spending 30 plus hours a week with my face jammed in a book trying to remember facts that won’t pay my bills. I spent so much time arming myself with knowledge and not knowing what to do with it. So I turned my hands into weapons, became a crusader of the lost pen. And my thoughts become quieter as I release the words into the world with pride and watch them sail away beyond vast blue skies.

Now you may be asking what the hell my point is, and I’m almost there, stick with me a little longer. Are you still here? Okay good. My point is I set myself free. I am no longer in the financial aid rejection club or thinking thoughts such as “I should have studied harder even though this will not matter in 6 months.” It’s all semantics.

Change is not all bad, it’s equal parts what you make of it and how well you handle it. As Bruce Lee possibly once said at some point in time, “Be water, my friend.” You become the form you shape for yourself, put water in a cup, it becomes a cup, put it in a bottle; it becomes the bottle. Don’t resist the change. Go with the flow of life, and you won’t have to swim so damn hard.

Until next time

Conception of thought

Welcome! If you’re wondering why you’re here, well, I can’t answer that for you, but I’m happy to have you and hope you’ll stick around for this new journey of mine. Firstly, I’d like to introduce myself informally to everyone. My name is Tina, and I have a challenging time trying to talk about myself and convey who I am without it sounding generic and cliche. Here am I, though, opening up my heart and mind.

I would like to preface this introduction with the thought in mind if you are here reading this right now, this is a safe space for everyone. In our current virtually run world, we are all grasping for human connection and security. I’d like to think that this is a place people can come to feel comfortable and safe.

Where was I? Right, yeah, I was ignoring talking about myself. It’s such a strange concept to me, especially considering you can be anyone you want online, and no one would know differently. It’s one thing being vulnerable and another being genuine. It is so hard to convey to others what your true self is. One of the perks of being on the internet is not showing that.

So here I am, learning how to be unapologetically me slowly day by day. On a different note, there is a section on this website that is strictly for books and discussions about them, maybe some healthy debates.

My plan is to pick a book a month and discuss it throughout two or three different posts, hoping that others will chime in and have some good book talk in the comments section.

Until next time