All posts by readwritedream17

Then and now

There used to be a time in my life where I was prolific in blogging, it consumed my whole world. I didn’t have any particular reason for blogging. Still, it was the early 2000’s, and at some point, I’m pretty sure I had 3 or 4 different blogs going at any one point in time. That was then, and this is now. So what makes this different? Not quite sure yet, but I can definitively say that I am enjoying every moment of it.

In the middle of March of this year, I had to make some big life decisions about my continued education and “what I wanted to do with my life.” In retrospect, I don’t think I could have made a better decision. This was about a week before we went into official quarantine, and making tough decisions during a global pandemic seems futile. However, I don’t think I can remember a time when I have been this comfortable and at ease with who I am.

By nature, I am an incredibly anxious person, always worrying about the “what ifs” of life instead of focusing on the present moment. Once I stopped worrying so damn much about what could or would have been, I started becoming more me than I have ever felt in years. There has undoubtedly been a shift in consciousness for me. One of the most important choices I made was not continuing my higher education. Instead, I decided to live life on my own terms instead of at the mercy of a broken education system that could literally care less. Nothing broke my heart more than dropping out of my environmental sustainability program because I wanted to save the world in my head. How cliche of me.

In the months that followed, it has been nothing but a discovery of self and soul. I tapered off of an incredibly dangerous antidepressant that wasn’t doing shit for me (Zoloft, that’s a story for another day). I have connected with some of the most beautiful, kind, and loving human beings through a shared love of a twitch stream. This turned into joining a discord server, and next thing I know, I am joining late-night house parties (the app). I began learning about the lives of others, their pain, struggles, and victories. It has been a beautiful journey letting others in, opening myself up, and being the most vulnerable and genuine version of myself again. It has been a strange and chaotic road that has led me to where I am now.

So, where am I now? Currently amid a wondrous new beginning, the next chapter of my life, and for the first time, I’m writing new chapters, not someone else.

Until next time

Conception of thought

Welcome! If you’re wondering why you’re here, well, I can’t answer that for you, but I’m happy to have you and hope you’ll stick around for this new journey of mine. Firstly, I’d like to introduce myself informally to everyone. My name is Tina, and I have a challenging time trying to talk about myself and convey who I am without it sounding generic and cliche. Here am I, though, opening up my heart and mind.

I would like to preface this introduction with the thought in mind if you are here reading this right now, this is a safe space for everyone. In our current virtually run world, we are all grasping for human connection and security. I’d like to think that this is a place people can come to feel comfortable and safe.

Where was I? Right, yeah, I was ignoring talking about myself. It’s such a strange concept to me, especially considering you can be anyone you want online, and no one would know differently. It’s one thing being vulnerable and another being genuine. It is so hard to convey to others what your true self is. One of the perks of being on the internet is not showing that.

So here I am, learning how to be unapologetically me slowly day by day. On a different note, there is a section on this website that is strictly for books and discussions about them, maybe some healthy debates.

My plan is to pick a book a month and discuss it throughout two or three different posts, hoping that others will chime in and have some good book talk in the comments section.

Until next time