So it goes

I am taking full advantage of my current creative inspiration and getting as much writing done as possible. I had previously been working on several short stories, all unfinished, but they were progressing well. Depression really is a bitch, and with everything going on in the world right now, I felt like I was drowning, falling deeper into the abyss. I often find it easier to let the darkness envelop me and just embrace it until I find my way out again.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year is to focus on myself first and then everyone else second. Some have called me selfish, but anyone who struggles with depression and mental illness knows how fucking hard it can be to roll out of bed. And so it goes, people will always judge you no matter what. You have this inner turmoil that eats away at you as if everything else wasn’t enough. More often than not, I find myself curled back up in my bed, ignoring every single responsibility. It bites me in the ass later, but in that current moment, I do what I have to so I don’t go insane.

One of the most positive things that have come out of quarantine is “meeting” some of the most amazing people online. There are a few that I now call some of my closest friends, and I don’t go a day without talking to them. Making friends in your late 20’s is difficult, and I consider myself so incredibly lucky to have found them. They have been my solace through the shit storm that is my brain. The comfort we find in familiarity and acceptance is often ineffable. To be understood, without having to explain yourself, it is truly a beautiful experience.

Until next time

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